Assalamu aleykum wa rahmautllah wa barakatuh,

I pray you are in the best of health and iman. Ameen.

On my mind today is relationships. It’s been on my mind for a while. There are many of those cute sayings about our internal walls and justifying their existence. For example, “I didn’t build this wall to keep anyone out. I built it to find out who loves me enough to climb over it.” It makes sense, right?? Of course we want to be loved. After being hurt a few times, we start to think that our new love needs to prove himself so that we know he is safe for us to love. Is this fair? Furthermore, if our new love does not climb over that wall in the way we expect him too, then he fails our test. It’s not fair. Ironically, we still get hurt because our shining knight didn’t come for us.

What those cute little sayings don’t tell us is that perhaps our shining knight has been hurt too. He has built up his own fortress or walls. Although a damsel may not be expected to climb over his walls, she still may need to prove her worthiness.

So, here we are… two very lovable people with beautifully high walls, both protected and waiting for a savior to come and rescue their hearts. I ask this… If two people are waiting for each other, how are they to find each other? I see you and you see me, but our hearts are not connected because of our self-defense.

The solution: someone (or both) must change. Someone must take the first step to climbing over those walls. Perhaps we should climb over our own walls instead of expecting someone else to do it for us. Then, when we break free from the barrier of our painful memories, we can knock at the gate door of our love. Upon hearing that knock, we must be brave knights and damsels so we can open the door. Only then, we can live happily ever after. J

May Allah, subhannahu wa ta’alla, give us the strength to love without limits and without expectations. Ameen.
~ December 1, 2010